


For You I'd Die a Thousand Times

by Larkawolfgirl



Series: 100 Ways to Say I Love You [15]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Arguing, Established Relationship, M/M, Reunions, Self-Sacrifice, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23868025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Larkawolfgirl
Summary: Noctis is pissed when Gladio returns from his private excursion, especially when he notices the gigantic slash which cuts over his heart. He's been worried sick, with obvious reason, but Gladio doesn't seem to give a shit about that and he's ready for a confrontation.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Series: 100 Ways to Say I Love You [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1165382
Kudos: 33





	For You I'd Die a Thousand Times

**Author's Note:**

> Way 48 "I'll do it for you."

_And I could give you my devotion_   
_Until the end of time_   
_And you will never be forgotten_   
_With me by your side_

_\- Somebody to Die For, Hurts_

All Noctis feels when he sees Gladio again is anger. He's been distraught. Worried sick. Lonely. How dare he leave him without a word and then saunter back looking pleased with himself? Luckily, the other two know well enough to leave them alone after a quick greeting. They must know he's in for a reckoning after Noctis' moody attitude during his absence. 

"Did you miss me?"

Noctis doesn't bother answering, walking right up to him, grabbing hold of the front of his open shirt (the one clearly showing off a gigantic scar that makes Noctis sick to his stomach), tugging him forward. "Car now."

Noctis’s actually mildly surprised when Gladio silently follows the order. Noctis climbs into the driver’s seat and starts the car. Gladio looks at him in question but does not voice it. Noctis drives for what feels like an hour until they are somewhere in the middle of nowhere off from the main road. Only then does he turn blazing eyes on his shield. “Where the hell were you?”

“Taelpar Crag.”

This tells him nothing. “Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Noctis’ hand balls into a fist. He isn’t going to punch. At least not yet. “Like hell it doesn’t. Just answer the damn question.”

“What’s with the third degree?” Gladio’s forehead is throbbing with his own suppressed anger. 

Noctis gives a bitter laugh. “Don’t I deserve to know what my shield was off doing rather than doing his job and protecting me? Don’t I deserve to know what happened to my  _ boyfriend _ when he returns with  _ that? _ ” He gestures to the fresh scar cutting the full length of his chest. 

“Were you worried? Is that what this is about?”

“Fuck you. Course I was worried. I still deserve an answer, either way. I’m your king.”

“As if I could forget.”

This somehow pisses Noctis off even more and he lets his punch fly. Not that it does much damage, but it says something that Gladio doesn’t bother dodging. 

“Damn, princess. Fine, have it your way.” He still doesn’t look happy in the least to be spilling his secrets. “I went to fight Gilgamesh.”

Noctis grabs hold of both sides of his shirt collar. “Are you fucking serious?” he snarls. “You could have died. And you didn’t even tell me.”

“You know why. You would have stopped me.”

“Of course I would have. Have you lost your mind?”

Gladio gives a short, humorless laugh. “Who knows? All I know is that I damn better protect you and I had to prove it to myself that I could.”

“That’s insane. What good would some stupid test prove if you died trying? How would that have protected me?”

“Well, I didn’t die, did I?”

“That’s not the point.” Noct is shaking. It’s getting harder to hold onto the anger, to stay afloat of the heartache. 

Gladio must notice because he softens, hand coming up to one shaking arm. “Noct.”

“What if you had? What would I have done then?”

“You have Prompto and Iggy.”

Noctis releases a wet laugh. “That makes it fine.”

“I trust them to protect you just as I would.”

“But they aren’t you.” Without even realizing, his free hand drifted down to touch the new scar. “Does it hurt?”

“Just a little. Hurt like a bitch when I got it.”

“Serves you right.”

Gladio leans in, stealing a sweet kiss, and Noctis can’t help chasing it. “Yeah, it does.”

“Damn it. If you keep this up I won’t be able to stay mad.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“If I’m not mad, then I’ll be left with the sad.”

Gladio pulls him into his chest. Noctis’ face lands just to the side of the scar so that he can see part of it very clearly. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to know. Just, promise me you won’t ever do that again.”

“I promise.”

It takes a moment for him to realize his mistake. He glares even though he can’t see it. “We both know you’d have no reason to. Promise you won’t do something  _ like  _ that again.”

“Can’t do that.”

Noctis pushes out of his hold. “Why the hell not?”

“Because I vowed to protect you, and that means I gotta do what I gotta do. Even if it means I gotta leave you or do something extremely stupid.”

“No,  _ that’s  _ extremely stupid. This whole thing is extremely stupid. Why do you have to play shield? No one’s even here to judge, other than maybe Ignis.”

“I’m not playing shield, I  _ am _ your shield. I have been since you were born.”

“I hate it. It isn’t fair to you.”

Gladio lifts his hand up, kissing along the back of his fingertips. “I wouldn’t have chosen any other life, if I’d had the choice. It’s thanks to my position I met you and why I can tell you I love you. It’s romantic, isn’t it? Knowing you’ll give your life up for the person you love?”

Noctis shakes his head, struggling to keep from crying. “It’s anything but romantic. It’s tragic and idiotic and nothing I want anything to do with.”

“Tough love then, because you don’t have a choice.”

“Not if I ban the practice.”

Gladio has the gale to  _ smirk  _ at him. “Still won’t stop me from jumping in to save your life.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“And you’re a brat.”

He hates this. Hates how easy it is for Gladio, the way he can fall into the usual banter, while this is tearing Noct up inside. He remembers when Gladio got his first scar. Remembers how traumatized he was and how he cried at Gladio’s bedside. That was the first moment it became real, and that’s what had bothered him so much. Of course Gladio was fine. It was a shallow cut, the doctor’s assuring that his eye was perfectly unharmed. But Noctis remained shaken for a week afterward, the scene replaying in his mind on repeat. What could he have done to prevent that? What could he do in the future to prevent it happening again? Nothing, is Gladio’s answer. There’s nothing Noctis can do, and this realization feels like a cancer. Something he needs to just accept, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t killing him from the inside out. 

“It isn’t fair to me.”

To this, Gladio just holds onto him again, as if soft comfort can take away the pain cramping down in his chest. He grateful, anyway. He’s missed this with him away. Missed the physical touch, the sense of being fully enveloped in a safety net. That thought now tastes bittersweet.

“We should get back,” Noctis mumbles. 

Gladio’s frowning when he pulls back. 

“This has really got you upset, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, okay? Do you think I want to see you die? Don’t you think I’d be just as willing to die to protect you?”

“I’m not the king of a nation.”

“I never asked for that.”

Again, Gladio doesn’t have a direct reply. It’s obvious it’s because he gets where’s Noctis is coming from. He gets this is unfair to him, he just refuses to back down. “We play the roles that we are given. It happens I’m proud of mine. Sure beats if I hated it. You know, back when we first met I thought you were nothing but a spoiled brat. I resented you because I couldn’t believe I was going to have to die to protect your sorry ass. But now, I know you’re going to be a great king who truly looks out for his people. You’ll do great things, Noct. And if it means I’ll know that you can keep on smiling and enjoying life, then that’s an added bonus.”

“You think I’m going to be smiling after your gone?”

Gladio wipes an escaped tear away. “Sure, it’s gonna be hard at first, but you’ll get through it. You’re tough as nails, when you have to be. You’ll get through it and smile at the sun. I know it.”

“Later.”

Gladio blinks at him in confusion.

“Later. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not a year from now. You better not die until much,  _ much  _ later, you hear me.”

Gladio nods and kisses him again. Noctis deepens it, needing the closeness, this intimacy. Gladio pulls him up over the gear shift and he lands in his lap. He stays there huddled for a long time.

“Just stay like this for a while, okay?”

“Whatever you need, babe.” He strokes through his hair.

It isn’t alright. This isn’t a real resolution. But Gladio is right, he’ll get through it. 


End file.
